Graced with Grit

by: Grace Cronk

the idea we were sold… doesn’t exist

I thought healing would feel like calm mornings and meditation practice. What it really feels like is crying at 2am over things I thought I was over.

Living in a society focused on finding the next best or quickest health ‘hack’ leaves us in a cycle of constantly trying to ‘better’ parts of ourselves. Self improvement is great, and so very important, but healing and self improvement are not the same. Healing is focused on finding our base level. How do we treat others when our needs are met, how do we view ourself when taking adequate care of ourselves? This could look like a myriad of things, because healing is individualistic in nature.

what healing looks like (for me)

Healing is much more of a feeling than a visible change. It’s stepping outside, feeling the weather, and then changing my outfit to fit the air. It’s sitting in a corner crying after watching a movie with a triggering scene. Healing is creating a workout plan, going for a week, and then falling off for a month, and then getting upset at myself over falling off. It’s messy, demanding, anger-inducing, but so very worth it. Healing is showing up for myself, in a way I need.

balancing grit and grace

The differing views of ‘give yourself grace’ and something along the lines of ‘pull yourself up by your boot straps’… Both can be helpful, when taken with a grain (or a cup) of salt. I always think about the saying “everything in moderation” when hearing either. We can’t expect ourselves to heal without giving understanding; we also can’t expect to move forward if we lack discipline in the name of self love.

Grit and grace both require showing up for yourself which, in my opinion, is the most vital (and taxing) part of healing. We need to forgive ourselves in order to be open to healing, but we need grit to create meaningful change, healthy habits, and to continue to show up for ourselves, even when we don’t want to.

A gentle reminder

A few things I’ve learned through healing

• Progress is not always visible
• Healing can cause regression- often times a large part of healing has to do with accepting the things you could not/ can not control. This could look like outbursts of anger because the dots connected and you realize the impacts of the trauma you’ve lived through, or going through periods where you need much more rest than you feel is necessary.
• Healing can be painful, but it is always worth it.

Healing hasn’t been what I expected, but maybe that’s the point. It’s not about becoming someone new. It’s about coming back to yourself, over and over, with more understanding and compassion each time

What’s one thing you’ve learned about healing that no one warned you about?